NSFW, blood and violence.
I did as Isaiah asked. I stayed home all weekend by myself without visiting him at the hospital, but I didn’t spend my time here sulking and thinking as much as he probably thought I would. I spent most of the days and nights working on the guest bedroom, turning it into a nursery, like he had wanted. I came to the conclusion that since I knew I’d be bringing my baby home, despite telling Isaiah that I wasn’t sure if I ever would be able to, I decided to stop trying to hide it and got the room ready for whenever I would bring him or her home. After selling the terrible furniture that was in here, I used the money I had made, plus a little extra, to redecorate it, giving it new paint appropriate for any gender, a new crib, changing table, toys and a bookcase full of children’s books, as well as plenty of wall art to bring the room to life and to make it look like a child’s room. I was proud of myself by how it looked, I was excited to show Isaiah and I hoped he wouldn’t have any more doubt in his mind that I wanted this as much as he did. But, hopefully by showing him this, he’d know I was serious about a future with him, though maybe I could still convince him to give me a little more time about filling this room with more than one child.
Finally, it was Monday.. I couldn’t wait for him to call me and tell me to come get him, and I couldn’t wait until I could bring him home and drag him eagerly upstairs to show him what I had done. I hope I wouldn’t be too obvious with how happy I was, seeing as I found it difficult to wipe the smile off my face as I looked at all that I had accomplished in a matter of only three days. I wanted him to see how much effort I had put into this, I wanted him to be surprised and proud of me and I wanted to see the same smile on his face as the one he showed in the picture I decided to leave on the new dresser I had bought.
After scratching off the three-day old dried paint on my skin during my shower, I got dressed and all I did was wait in our bedroom, sitting on the bed and waiting for his call. Over the weekend, knowing Isaiah had broke his glasses, I went to his eye doctor and got a new pair for him, knowing he would need them and wanting to do something nice for him, even if the nursery was nice enough.. I wanted to do everything for him that I could before he got home. I looked around our bedroom, wearing his glasses for fun as I waited and waited for Isaiah’s phone call, tipping my head up and down over and over again, watching as things became focused and then mildly blurry from looking through his lenses. But, my heart instantly lifted when I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket and I knew it had to be Isaiah.
I sprang from the bed, quickly removing my phone from my pocket and answered a little too eager-sounding after about two rings, “Hello?”
“Hey,” I could recognize his voice anywhere.
“Hey,” I replied with relief and a smile, “Are you ready for me to come get you?” I asked.
“Yeah.. I’ll be downstairs waiting for you outside.”
“All right, I’m on my way now.”
“Okay.. Bye..” He answered, a short phone call, but I didn’t expect anything more than that, anyways. I tucked my phone into my pocket, quickly leaving the condo and making my way to the hospital to get Isaiah and bring him home.
When I got to the hospital, I parked my uncle’s car and I noticed Isaiah sitting on a bench off to the side of the building. I walked over towards him, worrying now of all times if I looked good enough or used enough deodorant, acting as if we were meeting for our first date and I didn’t know why I was nervous, but I was. As I approached him, I saw him glance up and look at me and I couldn’t help but smile warmly when I saw him. I noticed his expression seemed a little questioning by how he looked at me, noticing myself that he still seemed bothered by what we had talked about a few days ago, but I soon saw a smirk on his lips as I stopped in front of him near the bench.
“Hi,” I began simply and I watched as he held his hand out for me to help him up and I helped him without hesitating. I still hated seeing his face all beat up, but at least the bruises were finally beginning to go away.
“Hey.. You look cute with glasses,” he complimented and I felt my cheeks get warm, embarrassed that I had forgotten they were on my face and I took them off to give to him.
“Oh, uh.. Here.. I knew your old ones were broken so I went to your eye-place and got you new ones.. I wore them so I wouldn’t forget them,” I answered.
I watched as he smirked as he put them on, “Thank you for doing that, it was sweet of you.”
“You’re welcome.. Where’s your tie and jacket and all that?”
“They had blood on them and I knew I wouln’t be able to get it out, so I just tossed them,” he replied and I nodded, “You seem happy,” he continued and I was unable to hold back a wider smile.
“I am.. How are you doing? Any better?” I asked and he nodded.
“Yeah, a lot better. Got a pocket full of pain killers to last me a while, so that’s a plus,” he answered and I chuckled.
“Good,” I retorted, a short silence falling over us before I continued, “Well, let’s get you home, yeah?” I questioned and he agreed, escorting him towards my uncle’s car and I helped him get inside of it before shutting his door and going around to the other side to get in and drive us back to our home.
“Who’s car is this?” He wondered as I drove.
“My uncle’s.. I don’t know why he didn’t let me do this sooner, but he let me borrow it so I didn’t have to take as many cabs up to his cabin. Since he can’t drive it, he said I could use it whenever I needed. The cabs drive too slow, so I took it as an opportunity to get to you faster whenever I would need to. And with you hurt, instead of struggling to get in and out of cabs, I can help you and drive you everywhere,” I replied, looking over to him briefly and seeing him smile appreciatively. I continued to watch the road, but my heart jumped when I felt his left hand grab my right and he held it tightly the whole drive home, knowing we still had a lot to talk about, but it felt good knowing that he still loved me enough to want to hold my hand during the short drive.
When we got home, I helped him out of the car, assisting him up the stairs, as well, and I unlocked the door for us to get in. After shutting the front door, I wanted to go upstairs and show him what I had done for him, but I felt his hand grab my waist, looking back at him for a moment and he unexpectedly pulled me into a kiss that completely took the air from my lungs. I kissed him back as hard as I felt he wanted me to, as hard as I wanted to, deepening the much needed kiss that I knew he had been waiting for just as much as I was.. When I had left the hospital a few days ago, I feared the worst, thinking that he wanted to leave me, but I realized that this was all just something he wanted me to rethink, and although I was still a little peeved on what he ultimately wanted me to do for his own selfish reasons, to change my mind on the solid answer I had given him, I didn’t hold it too much against him now..
I pulled away slowly, feeling his hands holding my hips as he looked to me, “It was mean of you to leave me hanging so badly the last time I saw you,” he pointed out, referring to the rather forceful yet needed kiss I had given him the last time we saw one another and I laughed softly.
“Sorry about that..” I began, but I corrected myself, “Actually, no.. I’m not sorry. I thought you were going to break up with me, you scared the hell out of me, so I wanted to leave on the highest note I thought I could so that you wouldn’t,” I replied and I watched him smirk softly, “But, then I realized you just wanted me to think things over..”
“So.. What did you think about while you were here?” He asked, seeing the worry in his eyes and his smirk leaving his lips.
“I think we were both being a bit selfish last time. You didn’t like hearing ‘no’ and I didn’t even humor you on the subject and I’m sorry about that, but.. Come with me.. Let me show you something,” I implied, taking him by the hand and I guided him upstairs gently, minding the injuries he still had.
“What did you do?” He asked, suspicious of me as I continued to pull him upstairs and then down the hallway towards the guest bedroom instead of our own bedroom.
“You’ll see, just be patient,” I replied, stopping at the door and I pulled him in front of me, “Open it,” I suggested, watching as Isaiah looked back at me with a smile that told me he could already tell what I had done.
He then put his attention to the door, turning the knob and walking into the extra bedroom and I swore I had heard him stop breathing, watching him stand at the doorway for a long, long moment before finally remembering how to use his legs and he stepped into the room. This was the exact reaction I had hoped for, for him to be speechless, for him to be as surprised as he could be and I think I succeeded.
“Oliver..” He began breathlessly, seemingly touched, continuing to absorb everything that I had done and I watched and he slowly spun in a three sixty, taking it all in, “It’s.. It’s perfect, down to the last details,” he continued, watching as he slowly stepped over towards the crib and he slid his hand along the railing, “It’s better than I had ever pictured.”
“Good, I had hoped you’d like it,” I replied and I continued to watch him look around the room, enjoying the happiness I knew he felt.
Isaiah eventually looked towards me and I slowly stepped into the nursery, “You did this in three days? ..By yourself?” He asked and I nodded.
“Yeah.. Well, I had to look up some designs online, I’m not that creative, but.. Yeah..” I replied and he smiled.
“But, what does this mean?” He asked and I smirked as I approached the crib, looking down at it as I stood next to him.
“It means exactly what I had told you. I want what you want, maybe not now right this second, or this month, or this year, but.. Eventually.. Let’s just focus on one thing at a time,” I replied, looking up to him and it was the first time that I could tell he finally understood me and decided not to fight with me about it anymore.
“Oliver, I’m sorry for pressuring you. For everything. I was being a selfish prick when I last talked to you and I didn’t mean to make you think I was going to leave you, because I had no intention of doing so. It’s just that I know I’m not getting any younger and I let my jealously get the better of me. Plus, with everything that happened with Thomas, I remember thinking that that was the end.. I was never going to see you again and I.. I panicked.. I-” he stopped himself from talking and I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck the moment I knew he was getting emotional, feeling his arms wrap around my torso in return and he held me tightly. I had never seen him cry before, nor did I ever want to and I noticed he tried his hardest to hold it back, feeling him burying his face into my neck and he took calm, slow breaths to keep himself from letting me see him like that.
“I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. Nothing like that is ever going to happen again, I promise,” I reassured him, knowing that I could keep to my word now that Thomas and his friends had been dealt with and Jody would be dealt with soon enough.
“I love you so much. All I want is to be with you, to have a life and a family with you.. I’m sorry about everything, Oliver,” he apologized again and I smiled appreciatively, slowly pulling out of our embrace so I could look at him and his hands slid down to hold my hips, keeping me close to him.
“I love you, too.. And it’s all in the past now, this room is our future, something to keep us going.. No matter what happens,” I replied and I watched as he smiled again, leaning in towards him and I kissed his lips for a long moment. I know I had said it plenty of times before, I’ve thought about it more than I’ve ever expressed vocally, but I loved this man to a point where there’s no return, no going back, and I’d like to think that even if there were still problems in our relationship, I’d want nothing more than to spend my life trying to fix those problems, as long as it was with him.. It wouldn’t be worth it with anyone else. For as complicated as my life was already, I couldn’t imagine getting through it with anyone else but him. I’d fight a thousand more battles like the one we had a few days ago if it meant they were with him, and although that it sounded even a little crazy for me to think that, maybe even a little unhealthy, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Nothing and no one was going to stand in our way, and I’d see to that personally.
After our kiss, I pulled away from him slowly, but he still held me close and I tried to make the moment a little better, “So, do you still think I’m not serious about this?” I asked in a somewhat chauvinistic manner and he chuckled.
“Not at all. I know I was rushing you and I knew it was wrong.. I know who you are, but that was just me not being me for a moment. I already said sorry, get off my ass about it,” he teased and I smiled.
“Fine, but you need to make it up to me somehow,” I replied and he smiled back, Isaiah seemingly back to his normal, rather persuasive ways again.
“Well.. You said you’d take care of me when we got home, so let’s focus on that first, hmm?” He questioned and I laughed nervously.
“You remember that, huh?” I asked and he nodded indefinitely.
“Oh yes.. I remember it perfectly,” he implied and I shook my head.
“Nope, not ridiculous, just want you.. Badly. Especially after all of this and what you did for me,” he replied without hesitation, seeing him lean in towards me and I felt his lips kiss my neck, “Is it weird that looking at this room is making me hot?” He questioned into the crook of my neck, continuing then to kiss my skin and I couldn’t help but get a little lost to his touch. I had missed this so, so much.
“Not weird at all,” I expressed with a heave of a pleasured breath as I continued to feel him kissing my neck, wanting to touch him, but even though he had told me before that I could touch him no matter what condition he was in, I was still worried that I’d hurt him, so I tried my best to withhold from doing it too much. It was hard to keep myself under control and hold back, especially when he knew he could get a good reaction out of me by teasing my neck.. I knew it too, and it was working.
But, I knew he’d realize my hesitation eventually, and just like I thought, he did, feeling him pull away from my neck and he looked at me suspiciously, “What’s wrong?” He asked, watching as he leaned in and continued kissing along my chin as he waited for me to respond.
“Well.. I’m sure the doctor said to get lots of rest and not to overdo anything, so.. Wouldn’t, uhm.. That be overdoing it a little?” I implied.
“No, he didn’t say any such thing.. He said I can do whatever I want and I want to do you. Actually, he told me that it’s better to have sex than take the pain meds, ‘as much as you need to’ he said,” he answered and I laughed softly.
“Okay, now I know that’s not true, you can’t fool a medical student.. You could really hurt yourself or even I could hurt you.. You just got out of the hospital, I don’t want to have to take you back,” I replied, feeling his lips then near my ear.
“I want to kiss every inch of you. We can do it nice and slow.. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He whispered persuasively before nibbling on my lobe and I wasn’t able to put up much of a fight as my legs grew weak from his words and my body trembled with desire as he teased my ear.
“Y-Yeah..” I agreed with a quiver in my tone and I took hold of his hand, pulling him out of the new nursery and out to the hallway towards our bedroom.
When we got to the bedroom, I led him towards the bed and carefully helped him remove his clothes, undoing the buttons of his shirt as he did the same for me and we removed them quickly, tossing both aside and I then helped him carefully sit on the bed before me. He let out a few groans in pain, though I could tell he was trying to hide his discomfort for the sake of what was happening, and although I wanted to continue, more than anything, I couldn’t help but notice his pain, as well as the huge bruise that hugged his right ribs.
“We really don’t have to, you seem like you’re in pain still, even with the meds,” I acknowledged with concern, but he gave me a look as if I needed to stop before I began and he reached for my black shirt, pulling it up and over my head and tossing it to the ground.
“I can power through any pain, especially when it involves you, and this,” he replied, feeling his hands then grip my hips and he forced me forward, pulling my chest to his lips and I shut my eyes slowly as I felt him kiss my skin. It had been a little less than two weeks since we had touched one another like this, this intimately, and I was sure that he missed it just as much as I did. We went from doing this every day to doing it every few weeks at the drop of a hat the moment I had started going to my uncle’s place and although the everyday aspect was exciting and anticipated, the wait for it and the build up was an entirely different feeling in itself. It was so much more looked forward to, so much more desired and longed for, and whenever we finally managed to find time for it, it was hard to put into words how much more great everything felt.
“God, I missed you so much, Oliver,” he whispered softly against the skin of my chest, continuing to then feel him kiss me everywhere he could and just as I was about to advance the situation, wanting to remove my pants as well as his own, I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket.
“Shit.. It’s my phone,” I let out softly in aggravation, but I then felt his kisses get harder and more forced against me.
“Tell whoever it is to fuck off, you’re busy,” he replied in between his kisses and I chuckled as I pulled my phone out of my pocket with an uneasy hand, reading a text from my uncle and trying to focus a little harder on reading rather than getting lost in pleasure..
‘Fell in the shower, knee gave out on me.. Water Everywhere. Can you come help me?’
It read and I knew it was a code.. Goddammit.. Of all the times for Jody’s water to break, it just had to be now.. I needed to leave..
“Fuck..” I let out, both with a sense of pleasure from Isaiah kissing me as well as anger from needing to leave.
“What?” Isaiah asked as he still continued to kiss me.
“..I need to go,” I reluctantly admitted and instantly I felt Isaiah stop, looking up to me as he still held me close.
“Your Uncle?” He guessed in annoyance and I nodded.
“Yeah.. He fell in the damn shower,” I expressed, showing Isaiah the text since it was safe to and to also give him a sense that I still wasn’t lying, watching as he then let out a heavy sigh and put his forehead against my chest.
“Why.. Why now.. Now of all times..?” He stressed in a fake cry against me and I smirked towards his childish behavior, even though I hated this just as much as he did.
“I’m sorry.. We can continue this when I get back, I promise,” I replied, feeling him trying to burrow his forehead into my chest more as I put my phone away to hold him close to me.
“I don’t want you to go. Just let him crawl around in pain everywhere, he’ll be fine,” he somewhat begged and I chuckled.
“No, I just need time with my love and he’s always cock blocking me. I need you so bad that it hurts more than my ribs do,” he continued in a pitiful tone and I laughed softly, putting my hands to his face and making him look up to me.
“I’m sorry, I want this just as much as you do, but.. I promise I’ll be back tomorrow and I already promised we can pick up where this leaves off,” I replied and he sighed heavily again.
“Fine, fine.. Just hurry back. And I do mean hurry back.. As fast as you can. I know you hate the long drive, but if you can come back tonight, that would be such good news,” he replied and I leaned down to kiss his lips, pulling away only a moment later.
“I’ll do the best I can,” I replied, pulling away from his grip and his hands tried to stay on my hips as long as they could as I went to go grab my clothes.
I threw my black shirt back on, then my green button up and walked towards the door, but stopped myself and looked back at him, “I’m sorry, again.. I really do promise that I’ll be back tomorrow, though, if not tonight.. Just get a lot of rest. I love you,” I made known before I left.
Isaiah sat there on our bed, looking over to me and I noticed he gave a fake smile after a heavy sigh, “It’s okay.. And I love you. Come back to me soon,” he replied and I nodded, hesitating as I looked at him shirtless and I contemplated staying, just for a little longer, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t.. I needed to get to my Uncle’s place as quick as possible and I left our bedroom reluctantly after a good, long, hard look at Isaiah, wanting to picture him as perfectly as I could as he was in that moment so I had something to remember and something to look forward to come home to after all of this was over and done with.
Goddammit, this sucks.. This sucks so much. I wanted him so badly, I had been waiting to feel him and taste him again for weeks now.. I hated that when I had came home originally with the thought that I would get to be with him, I find out he was in the hospital and in pain to the paint where we couldn’t even if we wanted to.. It was now just a longer waiting game and I hated it. But, I needed to stop thinking about him, as much as I didn’t want to.. I needed to get my head in the game and focus on what I was driving to, focus on what I needed to do to even be able to get to do everything I wanted to with Isaiah and I needed to focus on getting through all of this.
“I need to get through tonight.. I need to.. I need to..” I repeated to myself as I drove to my uncle’s cabin.
I arrived at my uncle’s place in about an hour and a half, driving as fast as I ever had to the cabin to get there for Jody’s labor and when I parked the car and stepped out, I could already hear Jody’s whimpering, moaning and crying from the pain she was dealing with from being in labor.. Fuck.. Even with the pep talk I had given myself in the car on the way here, it didn’t seem to help at all.. I had watched as many videos about birth as I could handle, read so many studies, read everything there was to read about it, but still, I felt like I couldn’t do this.. I felt like the moment I got out of the car and knew what I was going to have to do, I felt like I had forgotten everything. I was striving to be a doctor, a great one, actually, but if I couldn’t handle the birth of a child, what the hell was the point of my studies? Maybe after all of this, I should try and figure out what the hell I’m going to do about this, or even if I should continue on this path at all..
I stared at the cabin, continuing to hear Jody’s muffled cries and I hesitated even more.. Could I really do this? I knew what to do, how things worked and even how to handle complications, but as far as looking at what I needed to do, knowing it dealt with plenty of blood and other bodily fluids, would I be able to power through it, or would I just pass out and be no help at all? ..What if I just shut my eyes? What if I just acted blind and went through the checklist in my head as she gave birth? That would help.. Wouldn’t it? It was better than nothing.. I was good at what I did, I knew I could do great things, but if I saw blood, I knew I’d be a goner.. I’d faint.. I’d be completely useless to my uncle and I’d leave him to deal with Jody’s labor himself.. But, I couldn’t do that.. He didn’t know the ins and outs of complications.. An umbilical cord wrapping around the neck, the baby being birthed legs first and needing to be manually turned around, if Jody herself started to flatline.. He couldn’t do it.. Granted, I had never seen a live birth before like I was going to during my residency, but I was better than my Uncle, I knew way more than him.. I needed to do this.. I needed to.
I finally entered the cabin, seeing my Uncle pacing around the kitchen and he looked to me quickly when I had come in, “Finally, there you are. She keeps fucking screaming and it’s driving me nuts, just hurry up and get that damn baby out of her and make her shut the fuck up,” he voiced with annoyance, hearing Jody continuing to groan in discomfort in the bedroom, “Do you know what you’re doing?” He asked.
“Not really..” I reluctantly admitted, growing nervous now that I knew that even if I wasn’t prepared for this, I had to try my best and do it anyways, “Do you have gloves and a towel? I’ll need something to cut the cord with, too.. What about scissors?”
“I have gloves and plenty of towels, but no scissors. I got plenty of knives, though,” he offered and I sighed.
“You have gloves and towels, but not scissors?” I asked a little sarcastically.
“What? I’m a knife-guy.” He replied simply.
“All right.. That’ll do, I guess..” I answered, hesitating a moment before continuing, “I.. I need one more thing, too..”
“I need you to help me,” I admitted, seeing his expression going instantly reluctant.
“Ho-no, no, no, I’m not helping you with any of that. That’s all on you, kid. I don’t do babies,” he replied and I grew a little desperate.
“But, you have to! I can’t do this by myself! You said you would help me until the day I didn’t need you anymore, but that time hasn’t come yet and I need you to help me with this. I can’t do this alone, not with her, not even in general.. I.. I can’t handle blood, I get queasy and light headed..”
“So.. What? You’re asking me to be the one to do it? You’re the fucking doctor here, not me. I don’t care how you get when you see blood, don’t be such a pussy and do what you set out to do! It’s about damn time you get over whatever kind of fucked up fear that is, too, if you ever want a career in this type of shit, anyways!”
“I’m not a doctor yet-”
“And you won’t be if you don’t fucking get used to it!” He argued.
“You just need to help! I can tell you everything you need to do but I just can’t be the one to do it!”
“Fuck no,” he said in a voice as if he had put his foot down and there was no changing his mind.
“I-I can’t.. I can’t do this alone,” I expressed in a loss, dropping my view to the ground and I let my body weaken, leaning back on the sofa behind me. My eyes started to water and I shut them, realizing just how much of a coward I was and how alone I was in all of this, but there was no one but myself to blame for it. I looked back on everything I had done, realizing now that I could’ve done so many things differently if I was just a little stronger of a person.. There’s something in everyone’s life that they regret and wish they could do over, I don’t believe there’s a single person out there that doesn’t, but there were so many within my own life that made me feel like I was just never meant for success, I was always meant to fail, to be alone, to be weak, I just didn’t know it until now. Tears fell from my eyes, darkening tiny spots on the fabric of my pants when everything I had realized hit me all at once.
I heard my uncle sigh heavily, stepping over towards me and he placed his hands on my shoulders, “This is no time for tears, boy. When men have something to do, they do it. They don’t fucking cry about it and hope someone else comes in and rescues them. Are you a damsel in distress?” He asked sarcastically and I wiped the tears from my eyes.
“No..” I spoke quietly.
“What? I didn’t catch that.. Your quiet, feminine voice is too soft for me to he-”
“I said no,” I spoke louder and he nodded.
“Well, all right then,” he replied and I looked up to meet his eyes, watching as he became more serious and he squeezed my shoulders a little harder, “This is what you’ve been wanting to do your whole life, this is what all of your schooling is for. Are you really going to ignore an opportunity like this? To be able to deliver a baby before you’re even in your residency? If I were you, I’d be pretty fucking stoked, especially the fact that it’s your kid coming into this world.. Don’t you want to be the one to makes sure it gets here safely?” He asked and it was weird to see him being so caring about the subject, or at least as caring as someone like him could be. However, what he said made sense..
I could hear Jody still calling out in pain, moaning and crying in the next room and I was running out of the time I had to get in there and deliver my baby, “A-All right.. All right, I’ll do it.. But, I still need your help, whether you want to or not.. I need more than just two hands,” I replied, noticing a scowl on my uncle’s face again and he let out a heavy sigh as he removed his hands from my shoulders.
“Fine, but I’m not looking at anything or touching anything gross,” he warned.
“All you have to do is take the baby when I’m done, just find a towel you don’t mind getting dirty to wrap them up in and to clean them with.. Are you ready?”
“No.. But, I don’t have a choice,” I replied, seeing him nod and we got the supplies we needed before going into the other room.
After slipping gloves on and my uncle finding a knife and a towel to wrap the baby in, he stepped outside momentarily to make a call, I don’t know to who, while I entered the bedroom Jody was in, seeing her lying on the bed, beads of sweat dampening her bangs from her forehead and face, her skin glistening and she continued to moan in pain. I looked to her lying down, her legs propped up and I could see up her dress, noticing she still wore the panties that her water had broke in and I stepped over towards the bed.
“O-Oliver.. Oliver, please.. Please, take me to a hospital.. Please,” she begged weakly, hearing her continuing to let out struggled groans from the contractions as I reached up into her dress and gripped the fabric of her panties that hugged her hips, watching her struggle more as I pulled them down and off her legs, “No, no, no.. Please, don’t make me do this here! It hurts! It hurts so much!” She called out, looking away from her as I sat down to reach up between her legs to feel how far along she was.
“Even if I were to take you to a hospital now, you wouldn’t be able to get any drugs to dull the pain.. You’re too far dilated,” I replied, “It would be stupid to move you, too.. Wouldn’t you rather give birth here in a bed than inside of a cramped car on the side of a road?” I asked and I saw the anger in her eyes.
“A bed that I’m tied to, you fucking piece of shit!?” She yelled with rage and I removed my hand from between her legs, staring at her face that still glistened with sweat.
She continued to yell as I stood from the bed, “How could you!? How could you do this? My brother is dead and I’m stuck in this fucking bed! You fuck! You piece of shit, take me to a goddamn hospital!”
I didn’t reply to her, I didn’t even know what to say in return.. Every time that I looked at her, I felt just as much anger as I did pity. I pitied her for all that she had lost, for how hard she worked at making me hers and still being unsuccessful, how she was in so much pain as she lie in the bed before me.. But, the anger I felt was for how she never let up, she continued to try and make me hers, she continued to torment me, stalk me, she even tried to have Isaiah killed, something so unforgivable that no matter what she could ever think to say in a way of an apology would ever help me forgive her.. I felt.. Invincible.. Now that she was before me, in as much pain physically as she’s caused me mentally and emotionally, knowing that this was going to end tonight, it felt good, in an odd way.. It would all end tonight and it felt truly amazing.
My uncle came into the room and I looked back at him, seeing him wearing gloves of his own and he had a knife in his right hand, “How’s it going?” He asked.
“Fine.. We have a little while before she’s fully dilated, though,” I replied and he put his hand up to stop me.
“All right, no doctor talk and no details, just tell me when she’s ready and when she’s not,” he answered, then noticing him nod his head towards the door, wanting me to follow him out and I did as he had implied, following him out and shutting the door behind me.
“Who did you call?” I asked, “Ezra?”
“Yeah.. And I called Nina,” he replied and my eyes widened.
“Y-You mean Aunt Nina?” I asked in surprise, “I thought she hated you?”
“Yes, Nina, and yeah, she does.. But, she’s the only person I know that can help out with this and won’t ask any questions. She knows better not to. I told her it was a favor for you, not me, so she’ll be here sometime tonight.”
“But.. I still don’t understand..”
“Dumbass, have you ever thought about what’s going to happen after the kid’s born? What, are you just going to wrap it up and take it home to your boyfriend like it’s a stray puppy you found on the street you want to take care of? You don’t think that after all this time of lying to him that he’d ask some pretty good fucking questions after you coming here and then going home with a baby in your arms? Don’t be so fucking stupid.. Nina is coming to help take care of the baby until you can figure out something good enough to tell him,” he explained.
“Oh.. I forgot she had gone into nursing shortly after you two broke up..”
“Exactly.. Not to mention she was born to be a mother, I knew it the moment she held Kat for the first time. She’ll take care of your kid while you figure all of this out. You still want to keep that guy of yours in the dark about all of this, right? You don’t have the idiotic urge to go home and tell him you held this bitch hostage until she gave birth and then you offed her like it was no big deal, right?” He asked sternly and I shook my head.
“N-No.. No, of course not..”
“Good.. I told Nina to bring whatever she could for a newborn from the hospital, formula and all that nonsense,” he continued and I nodded, “Now, how much longer do we have until she’s ready?”
“I don’t know exactly.. It could be an hour, could be a couple hours, everyone’s different..”
“Well, let’s hope it’s soon ’cause I’m getting sick of hearing her cry in pain when I’m not the one causing it,” he replied and my eyes widened a little, surprised by his words, though before I could ask him what he meant, I watched as he walked away and left out the back door to have a smoke.
I sat within the living room, nothing but the sound of Jody’s cries able to be heard and I sat there for a good three more hours as I waited. I listened to Jody intently, timing her pained-filled moans and groans from her contractions and I waited until they were roughly between thirty seconds to two minutes apart before knowing it was time and knowing I had to go into the bedroom. All my uncle did was pace around, make small talk that I barely contributed to, as well as taking plenty of smoke breaks as we waited.. I should’ve stayed with Isaiah a little longer.. Just a little bit longer.. Maybe I needed more time with him in order to be better prepared for this.
“Oh, god! Oliver!” Jody cried out and I finally realized it was time, knowing the baby must be coming now and I stood from the couch, looking to my uncle and just from the look I had given him, he knew it was time, as well.
“Finally,” he expressed in annoyance, following me into the bedroom where Jody was.
I made it a point not to look between Jody’s legs when I had walked in, keeping my eyes elsewhere until I reached the side of the bed and I could let my hand do the seeing for me, looking at the top half of her body as I put my gloved hand between her legs once more and checked what was happening, feeling a tiny head breaching and my heart began to race. Not only did my heart race with complete shock at the general aspect of it all, but the fact that my child was almost into this world and it only required a few pushes from Jody in order for them to take their first breath of air and for me to hold them in my arms was overwhelmingly exciting.
“Now what?” My uncle asked as Jody let out a struggled heave of pain, knowing she was already trying to push without being told to, but I ignored my uncle and focused on Jody.
“All right, Jody, just push.. That’s all you have to do and it’s all over, just push,” I encouraged. She looked at me as if she wanted me dead, as if I was the last person she wanted to be in this room for this act, yet at the same time, her eyes read as if I was the only one that could help her, the only one that could get her through this and I gave her an encouragingly fake smile, noticing her eyebrows going softer and she seemed humbled by how I looked at her.
“O-Oliver.. Get me through this, help me.. Please.. Please, help me.. I can’t do this by myself,” she nearly begged and I nodded.
“Neither can I, so I need your help, too. I’m not going anywhere until our baby is born, I promise,” I replied and she seemed better after my words, but her face was still glistening with sweat and she was still in pain, my hand then feeling our child emerging more and I still tried my best not to look.
A grueling and exhausting half an hour later, we were finally at the home stretch, “Come on, Jody, just one more.. One more push and it’s over,” I encouraged, my hands ready to catch my baby and she pushed hard as I gently pulled, watching Jody take a few more breaths before pushing one last time. I knew she was exhausted.. She could barely breathe, she barely had any strength left and there were a few times where I even thought she was weaving in and out of consciousness from all of her work and all of her pain. I could feel the bed sheets on the back of my hand as I waiting for the baby to come out, knowing the bed was soaked in blood, but I didn’t know how much, all I knew was that this baby needed to come out now or I might just lose Jody and be forced to be more invasive, which was something I wanted to avoid.
With all of Jody’s strength that she had left, she pushed and I pulled one last time, the baby coming out and into my hands and I looked to my uncle who then came over with the knife and cut the cord, “Grab the towel you brought,” I then instructed, hearing the baby beginning to cry and I handed them off to my uncle.
“L-Let.. Let me see..” Jody said weakly with a quiet tone, but my uncle and I ignored her as I watched him cleaning the baby off as it cried. My hands were shaking, I could barely contain my curiosity for the gender, waiting until he had cleaned the blood and everything else off of them before I could look.. I kept my eyes off of Jody, off of the bed that I knew was covered in blood, fixated on my uncle with his back turned to me.
“You got yourself a baby boy, kid,” my Uncle Gareth announced and I let out an excited sigh, a smile instantly on my lips and I quickly got off the bed as I removed my gloves, stepping over towards him holding my son. I reached up to touch his face and he was so small, so delicate and beautiful and I couldn’t help but feel such a high as I looked at him. He was perfect, and he was finally here with me.
“It’s a boy?” Jody asked, “Let me see him! Let me see him, dammit!” She demanded as the baby continued to cry, my uncle and I continuing to ignore her.
“Deal with her,“ my uncle implied towards Jody, “Then you can hold your son all you want. I’ll go get him cleaned up, Nina should be here soon enough, too, so make it fast,” my uncle instructed and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, nodding to his instructions and I watched my uncle step carefully out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
“You son of a bitch! Let me see him! Let me see him you fuckhead!” Jody continued to demand and her plea got more emotional, crying as she lie there on the bed and I looked to her with the same smile on my face.
“Not a chance,” I replied, stepping over towards her and I sat next to her on the bed.
“Oliver, please.. Please, let me see him, let me see our son,” she begged as more tears streamed down her face.
“He’s not your son, he’s mine. Only mine,” I replied, watching as her cheeks continued to soak in more and more tears and I even noticed the tears beginning to build up in the curves of her ears, making miniature pools only big enough for an ant. I enjoyed looking at her like this.. I felt.. Immortal.
“Please, Oliver..” She continued, but I ignored her begging.
“I feel..” I stopped, letting out a healthy sigh before continuing, “I feel so alive right now, so focused and so determined. I feel like I’m never going to come down from how happy I am at this very moment and it feels so amazing. Do you want to know why I’m so happy?” I asked, standing from the bed and I walked slowly over towards the dresser, noticing that my uncle had left the knife behind after cutting my sons cord and I picked it up within my hand. For some odd reason, as I looked at the blood already on it, it didn’t make me as faint as I had thought it would.. How odd..
I made my way back over towards her and I stood next to the bed, still holding the knife, “I’m happy because I finally met my son. I’m happy because I still have the love of my life waiting for me at home. I’m happy that all of this is over and soon I’ll never have to worry about you screwing anything up for the rest of my life,” I continued, looking up at her from the knife and I finally looked towards the bed between her legs for the first time, seeing almost the entire foot of the bed soaking up Jody’s blood and I guessed that she had torn pretty badly, but I wasn’t about to stitch up anything, “Wow.. Looks like you’re bleeding out, so I’ll make this quick,” I said with a little haste.
I held the knife up in front of me more, admiring the blade and I then looked towards Jody, her skin turning pale and each breath she let out was a struggle, “I think it’s pretty ironic.. You do all of these horrible things to me and to the one I love, but in the end, you’re the only one that’s truly lost. You’ve lost your brother, you’ve lost me, and now you’ve lost your son because of your actions.. If you had a chance to go back and redo it all, would you?” I asked, noticing that her blood loss was making her even weaker than she already was and she could barely keep her eyes open, “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter in the end, anyways,” I said with a chuckle.
Quickly, before she died from blood loss, I hoisted up the knife and plunged it deep into the top her chest, seeing her eyes go wide momentarily and her breath caught in her throat. I had plunged the knife directly over her trachea, making it impossible for her to take another breath even if she wanted to and I watched as blood poured out of her mouth and down her chin, looking dead into her eyes and she convulsed only slightly, struggling to try and take a breath before finally, after roughly fifteen seconds of watching her fight to live, I watched the life leave her eyes.
But, it still didn’t feel like it was enough. Her eyes remained open, staring at me, taunting me, still having a hold on me and I reached for the knife I had left in her trachea, now becoming completely erratic and I lost it..
“You fucking bitch!” I yelled, driving the knife into her repeatedly and aimlessly, absolutely loving the hard thudding sound the knife made every time it punctured through her chest and I grew sick with enjoyment. I felt blood soaking my hands and spraying on my arms, onto my chest and my face, losing count how many times I had actually stabbed her, though I wasn’t really counting in the first place.. I was just.. Completely loving this.. Enjoying how much she deserved this and asked for this. This was her fate, and this was my destiny.. I knew that now. It was so clear to me.
Eventually, about three long minutes and most likely over fifty stabs later, I stood at the side of the bed, dropping the knife from the clutch of my blood-soaked hand as I stared down at Jody, or whatever was left of her. My breathing was as heavy as it ever was, completely exhausted, arms aching, hands shaking. I slowly came off of my immense high that seemed to take over for a bit and unable to control myself at all, but I soon felt things returning to normal. I don’t know what had come over me, all that I knew was that I felt incredible and it wasn’t until I heard my son crying in the other room that I completely felt myself letting go of everything that had to do with the past.
Finally.. Everything was going to be okay..
A weak smile came to my lips as I continued to pant in exhaustion and now the sight of the blood dripping onto the ground from the bed and covering the hardwood floor made me a little light-headed, “I’m.. I’m free..” I let out in a whisper. My vision went a little blurry, the sound of thick, heavy blood dripping down and hitting the floor, only increasing the already large puddle on the ground and I staggered towards the door.
I gripped the handle with my slick, bloody hand and I took a few steps into the living room, looking at my uncle holding my little boy and his eyes widened.
“Holy shit, Ollie!” He exclaimed, the last thing I remembered before my knees gave out and I fell to the floor.
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