A harsh groan escaped me when I woke up, my head was killing me and I never thought that a little whiskey would result in such a bad headache. The sun threatened to peer in through the window and I kept my eyes squinted sharply since the light just made things worse. I sat up slowly, realizing I didn’t even bother changing out of my clothes and I slept in my shirt, shoes and jeans all night.. “When did I even fall asleep..?” I asked myself.
I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to wake myself up more and I shifted around just slightly, sitting on something hard and I got up from the bed, reaching into my back pocket and I removed my phone that I had apparently slept on all night. I contemplated a moment about whether or not to turn it back on, but, I might as well see if I had any missed texts or voice mails now instead of getting my ear chewed off when I get home.. I turned my phone on and waited a moment, letting out a harsh sigh as my head still pulsed in slight pain and soon my phone buzzed a couple of times, finally telling me that I have unheard voice mails to listen to and I typed in my password so I could access them.
I put the phone to my ear and paced around the room, listening to the rather robotic, pre-recorded woman telling me I had five messages to listen to. I was a little surprised by the number I had, but I listened anyways and the first one was Katalina.
“Oliver, I don’t know why the hell you’re not here right now getting ready to eat dinner with us, but it better be a damn good reason. Why is it so hard to ask for you to be here? -sigh- Anyways.. Don’t make me worry about you, and get your ass home, got it?”
I expected her to be pissed off, and I knew she was, but I guess it could’ve been a lot worse.. She actually did seem a little concerned, but I continued on to the next message, which I recognized was James.
“Hey, man.. I know you probably don’t want to be bothered, and I can see that I assumed right since your phone went straight to voice mail, but uh.. I just wanted to let you know that I can see why you left. Your Uncle is a dickhead.. -soft laugh- I’ll tell you all about it whenever you get back.. I also, uhm.. Want to talk to you about Jody. Whenever you have the time, though.. See ya, bud. Happy Thanksgiving..”
James was always so nice to me and I liked that he was checking up on me, but what did he want to talk to me about Jody for? I was also curious as to what my Uncle had done during dinner that made James believe me on why I hated the man and why I thought he was such an asshole.. At least he understood now..
I was curious as to who else would’ve left me voice mails, seeing as I had three left to listen to, but my heart sank into my chest when I listened to the next message and I recognized Jody’s voice.. By no means did I recognize it from seeing her often, but from the amount of messages she’s been leaving me every since we, well.. Ever since she forced me to have sex with her.. Now I’ll never be able to forget her voice, even if I tried.. It was burned into my brain.
“Oliver, where are you? Kat said that you were going to be here and you were looking forward to seeing me today.. I can’t stay long, since I have to go eat dinner at my folks place, but I wanted to see you.. Why aren’t you here? Oh well, I’ll try again later.. Bye.”
Why the hell would Kat tell her I was looking forward to seeing her?! I pulled the phone away from my ear momentarily in anger, trying to calm myself down before I listened to the next message that I now knew would be Jody.. I bet she was the fifth message, as well.. How does she not understand that I want nothing to do with her anymore? It’s been a little more than three weeks since I’ve seen her in the flesh and I’ve been dodging her like crazy, why is she still trying to be with me? Is she really that oblivious, or is she just that obsessed? But, why would she be obsessed? I’m nothing special, I’m no one to brag about, so why is she doing this to me?
“Hey, it’s me again.. Got done eating with my family a little while ago and I’m trying to reach you again, wanting to spend a little time with you on this Holiday.. I hope you get this soon and call me back, I’m lying on my bed and I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you to be lying next to me, touching my..” -click-
I stopped listening to it instantly once I knew what she was trying to do, trying to turn me on over the phone so I would go to her and give her what she wanted, but there was no way in hell I’d ever do something like that with her willingly..
“Ugh, God..” I let out softly, feeling like I was going to be sick just thinking about it and I reluctantly listened to the next and final message..
“Hey, baby.. I was so surprised that I didn’t hear from you last night, I thought my message would be pretty convincing, but I like how you play hard to get.. Well, it’s about ten in the morning now and I tried calling Kat to see if you were home and I guess you never came home last night..? I’m getting a little worried and I hope nothing happened to you, I’m going around town and looking for you and I hope I find you soon.. I’d hate to be forced to go to the police and file a ‘missing persons’ report.. -nervous laughter- No, no, I’ll find you, I don’t even want to think about needing to do something like that! -feminine laugh- Anyways, here’s to high hopes, but, see you soon!”
What the hell? She’s looking for me now?! I quickly hung up my voice mail and looked at the time, seeing it was only a little passed eleven and I panicked a little, noticing it’s only been an hour since she had left that message. I needed to get the hell out of here. Is this considered stalking, or was I thinking too much into this now? She’s not even my girlfriend, we aren’t even dating and she’s acting like we’re married..?
I quickly placed my phone inside of my pocket, picking up my jacket from the floor and throwing it on, “She’s psychotic, she has to be.. Why the hell is she even looking for me?” I tried to talk myself into calming down, but it didn’t seem to be working. “I need to get the hell out of here before-” A knock on my door stopped my voice and I froze, my eyes glued to it and I waited a few silent seconds, trying my best to be quiet and hoping whoever it was would just go away.. It couldn’t be Jody, could it? She couldn’t have found me this fast, right?
“Oliver..?” I heard Jody’s voice and I was astounded.. How in the hell did she.. Never mind! I quickly and silently looked around the room, not seeing any other way of leaving and I went to the bathroom, hoping to sneak out the window, but the windows were too high, and definitely too small for me to fit through.. I’m.. I’m done for.. But, wait.. Maybe she doesn’t know that I’m still here.. I came back out of the bathroom slowly and as quietly as I had been and I waited, seeing two small shadows at the bottom of the door peaking in and I knew she was still standing there..
“Oliver, are you awake? The front clerk said you hadn’t checked out yet, are you here?” She continued and at first I was mad that the clerk had given her that information, but then again, she could very well think that I just went out to get breakfast or coffee or something.. Maybe she’d go away..? At least I hoped she would. I heard her knock again, “Oliver..? Hmm..” I heard her through the door, seeing the shadow at the bottom of the door shift a little, but she still stood there.. What was she doing..?
My phone started to ring and I panicked, the song I had as a ringtone playing loudly and now I regretted even turning it on. I removed it from my pocket quickly, seeing Jody calling me and I wanted to shut off the ringtone, but then she would know for sure that I was in here.. But, now that she heard my phone, it was too late, already.. “Oliver? I can hear your phone, are you still here? Wake up,” she continued and I knew she wasn’t leaving.. Could I wait, let the phone stop ringing and she might think that I left it behind? It was worth a try I guess.. I let the phone go to voice mail and the song stopped playing, listening for Jody and I assumed she was leaving another message for me to listen to later.. “Hey, it’s me.. Again.. I think I found you, are you alright? You’re probably still sleeping, but I’ll just wait here until you wake up, I suppose..” She continued to leave me a message and I was mortified to hear that she wasn’t going to leave until I ‘woke up’ and came outside.. This is exactly what I didn’t need this morning..
There was no use in avoiding her now, she was going to stand there and wait for me to come out no matter how long I waited and I couldn’t help but wonder if I should just get this over with.. I could let her in and maybe even have enough nerve to tell her that I don’t want to see her anymore, and I thought that as long as I stayed close to the door, even if she tried anything, I’d be able to make a run for it before anything could happen.. I let out a depressed sigh, walking over to the door and I hesitated a moment, but pulled it open slowly and she stood there, her head popping up in excitement when she saw my face and I squinted my eyes out of reflex when the brightness of the morning hit me.
“Hey! Did I wake you? I’m sorry,” she said with a sweet tone and I looked at her with a stern expression.
“What are you doing here? How’d you find me..?” I asked, trying to keep the door open only a little and I didn’t want her to come in, but when she moved closer to me in either an attempt at a hug or a peck on my lips, I instinctively moved back and she followed me into the room. I tried to remember to stay near the door, ready to leave if she were to try anything and she shut the door behind her.
Jody ignored my questions, “You slept here all night? You poor thing, you could’ve slept in my bed.. Did you get my messages?” She asked and I shook my head ‘no’ in a lie, trying to keep the fact that I was a little intimidated by her hidden. “Well, I’m glad I found you, I was getting worried.. I haven’t seen you in so long I feel like I barely know you all over again,” she said with a soft giggle and my expression didn’t change.
“I do barely know you.. Why are you even here? If Kat and James knew not to come looking for me, then you can assume that I’m just fine.. No need to worry.. I was just about to go home anyways, so.. You can go home, too,” I replied.
“Aww, what’s the rush? Check out isn’t until noon, right?” She wondered excitedly and I grew nervous, seeing her getting closer and I stepped back but I met the wall behind me. Jody slipped her fingers from each hand into my front pockets and tugged on my jacket a little, “I’ve missed you, we should-” she began, but stopped, her eyebrows furrowing and I was confused as to what she was doing. I felt her fingers playing around with something in my pocket and she looked down, pulling out a folded piece of paper and I swallowed hard in nervousness.
She took a step back, though not as far as I would’ve liked, and she unfolded the piece of paper, reading it and she then looked up to me. Her eyes held anger and shock and I didn’t know what to do, “What the hell is this?” She wondered and I finally remembered that Isaiah had given me his number last night. “Are you.. Are you cheating on me?” She asked and I was dumbfounded. Cheating? Was she serious?
“W-What are you talking about?” I asked, confused beyond belief.
She turned the paper around and showed it to me, “Don’t play dumb.. A phone number? You expect me to believe you’re not seeing anyone else when you’re going out, not answering your phone, and now I found a number in your pocket? Who’s is this? What’s her name?” She continued to barrage me with questions I couldn’t nor needed to answer in the first place.
“It’s not what you think, and I don’t even need to explain it anyways since we’re not even together,” I replied, watching her face then go to shock, then back to anger.
“What does that mean?! We’re together, we were dating and we even had sex, what do you mean ‘not together’?” She asked in anger and I was still completely confused.
That was it.. This is going too far now, I need to break this off.. “We went on one date.. One! And I didn’t even want to have sex with you, you made me do it, even despite me saying I wanted to wait! I’ve been avoiding you this whole time because I want nothing to do with you, how more clear can I get?” I asked back, watching her shake her head in disappointment and I reached for the paper she held, but she pulled it away and out of my reach. She was acting like such a brat, like a crazy high-schooler or something that couldn’t accept that the boy she had a crush on didn’t like her.
I watched then as she stepped back a little more and she ripped up the piece of paper into small pieces, “Hey! What the hell, Jody? That wasn’t yours to do whatever you want with!” I exclaimed.
“Well, now she’ll never get your call, because you’re spoken for!” She argued back and I was getting fed up with how she had this delusion that we were a couple by any means.
“Jody, how many times do I have to say something in order for you to understand? We’re.. Not.. Together.. After what you did to me, I want nothing to do with you! Now leave me alone, please!” I angrily threw back at her and she gave me a look as if she didn’t believe me.
She walked up to me quickly and forced her lips to mine, but I refused to pucker my lips back and I brought my hands to her upper arms, grabbing her and gently pushing her off, “What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked with the same anger I’ve had, but she pushed herself towards me again and tried to kiss me once more. I stopped her this time before she could make contact, thinking twice of my actions before I carried them out, but I committed anyways and I shoved her harder away from me this time and her rump landed on the bed.
“Ooooh, I like when you’re the rough one,” she continued and I stood there in disbelief as I watched her lean back a little, sticking out her chest just slightly, “Hold me down and show me how ‘not together’ we are,” she mocked slightly with a sense of seduction and I shook my head.
“You’re fucking crazy, Jody, now leave me alone!” I called back, quickly bending down and picking up what pieces I could of Isaiah’s number that she had torn up and shoved them into my pocket, going for the door and I quickly walked out, slamming it shut behind me.
I jogged towards the main office, going in and paying my bill just as hastily and I walked out, picking up my pace and jogging again to get to the side of the road and I then walked along it, looking back frequently to see if I could hail a cab and also to see if Jody was following me.. I felt like a hitchhiker even though I wasn’t in the middle of nowhere, but I needed to keep moving if I was going to avoid Jody catching up with me. What the hell was that all about? Again, she was sweet at first, or at least acted like it, but once she noticed that we had an opportunity to have sex, she changed into an entirely different person again and she never struck me as someone that would be into such rough things.. The slapping, wanting me to hold her down, forcing me to kiss her..? To be honest, it really creeped me out, and I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t grasp the fact that she was the last person I wanted to be with.
I finally was able to hail a cab before Jody could catch up to me and I went home.. Honestly, anything, even Kat and I’s arguments, were a Godsend compared to any situation with Jody. I paid the fare and walked to the front door, stepping in and I didn’t see anyone in the dining room, nor did I hear anyone in the kitchen, so I continued my journey upstairs and I could hear the television on in the living area. I walked over to it slowly and peaked in, seeing Camilla alone watching whatever was on the screen and I smirked. I continued more into the living area and finally caught her attention, seeing her smile at me, “Hey.. You okay?” She asked and I nodded, even though it was a lie. “Where’d you stay last night?” She wondered.
“Just a motel within town, not too far from here.. I just.. I couldn’t be here anymore, you know?” I asked and I watched as she showed sympathy for me and nodded.
“I understand.. I wish you were here, but I’m glad you left, things might’ve ended worse if you didn’t leave..” She replied and I raised my brow.
“What happened?” I asked through my curiosity, stepping more into the room and I watched as her view left mine and went to the floor.
“Nothing out of the ordinary.. You know how it always goes.. I say something that Kat doesn’t like and it turns into this huge argument for no reason.. I just don’t understand why we can’t have at least one day where something doesn’t go wrong, or a day where no one gets into a fight..”
“I think that there’s too many clashing personalities and beliefs in this family, which makes it impossible for any of us to be on the same page all at once. Don’t let her bother you and never believe anything hurtful she says.. She’ll come around eventually, it’ll just take time, that’s all..” I replied and she looked back up to me and nodded with a slight smirk.
“Hey, it’s Friday.. Didn’t you have class today?” She asked and I chuckled.
“Uhh.. Yeah, but I guess I took the day off..” I replied and I went to walk out of the living room, but Camilla stopped me.
“Oh, Oliver! Would you maybe wanna go out to dinner soon? Catch up a little, just the two of us? ..It’s just.. I’m going out with friends all weekend, but I missed you last night, and I only have until Wednesday, so.. I don’t want to leave knowing that we didn’t at least spend a little time together, you know..?” She asked and I nodded with a smile.
“Of course, I’d love that. You pick the place, I’ll buy,” I replied and she smiled more, nodding in confirmation and I continued my way out of the living room and upstairs to my own room.
The first thing I did was change all of my clothes.. I hated knowing that I was still wearing the ones that I had put on yesterday and I also hated the fact that Jody had put her hands on them, making me want to change even more. I tossed my clothes into my hamper but I did a double take at my jacket, picking it back up and I removed what pieces I had managed to grab off of the motel floor from within the pocket and I walked over to my bed, sitting down and I laid out the pieces on my blanket. As I looked at all the ripped up paper, I knew it didn’t complete the whole thing he had handed to me and I was missing a few pieces of this tiny white puzzle. I missed a couple of edges, but those didn’t matter as much because I knew they were blank, but one piece wasn’t there, one that I needed, the one that held the last three digits of his number.
I sat there in silence, sighing softly to myself as I continued to stare at the pieces of paper and I hated how Jody had ripped it up, as if she had every right to. Even if she was my girlfriend, she still had no right to rip up the paper because it wasn’t even from a girl, nor was it from someone who was interested in me in the sense that would make her worry, but.. She did it anyways, and now I’m missing a piece.. The more I thought about it, however, the more I realized that it wasn’t that big of a deal since I knew exactly where Isaiah worked, and he owned the bar, so it’s not like I have no idea where to find him if I wanted to, but just the fact that she had the tenacity to do what she did to something that wasn’t hers made me angry all over again. How was I going to deal with this? She’s still completely obsessed with me and oblivious to the fact that I despise her and what she had done..
I had left my phone on my dresser and I heard it go off, someone calling me and I was a little nervous to see who it was, but when I got up and looked, I noticed it was James and I let out a sigh of relief. “Hey, what’s up?” I answered.
“Hey, are you home now?”
“Yeah, just got back about twenty minutes ago.. Did you just get out of class?”
“Yeah.. I was hoping you’d be there but you never showed.. Are you okay?”
“..I’m fine, just.. Didn’t make it today.. My head still hurts a little from drinking last night,” I replied.
“Wow.. That’s probably the first and last time I’ll ever hear you refer to ‘missing class’ and ‘hungover’ in the same sentence..” He joked and I chuckled.
“I’m not hungover, just a slight headache.. And I didn’t wake up to any of my alarms because my phone was off..”
“Ahh, I gotcha.. Well, hey- I wanted to see if you’d wanna talk, just not at home.. You up for it?” James wondered and I hesitated a moment.. I knew he wanted to talk about Jody, since he had mentioned it in his voice mail I listened to from him this morning, but I didn’t know if I was ready or not for this conversation..
“..I-I don’t know..”
“Come on, you know me.. I just want to talk, that’s all. You don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to,” he compromised and I sighed, but nodded against the phone.
“Alright.. Where are you now?”
“I’m still in the center of town, standing in the cement park in front of the City Hall building and the main building of the campus..” He hesitated a moment, “Hey, remember that park we went to a lot our first year here, and we’d just get drunk and hang out?” He asked and I smirked, chuckling softly as I remembered back. They were good memories, it was where James and I went to hang out alone and we became best friends in no time.
“Yeah, that park just outside of downtown..? Though I usually don’t ever remember leaving,” I replied and I heard him laugh on the other line.
“Yup, that’s the one.. Meet me there in half an hour, I wanna grab something to eat before I get there.. Want anything?” He offered.
“No, I’m all right.. I’ll see you in a little bit,” I replied and I hung up.
I guess it wouldn’t be all that bad.. I knew that if I could tell anyone about what had happened, it would be James, but I still wasn’t even sure if he’d believe me.. How could anyone believe me with how well Jody put up that nice, sweet and innocent wall of hers? She’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing and she only takes off the disguise when I’m alone with her.. As much as I didn’t want to talk about this with anyone and as much as I wish it would just go away, I knew it wouldn’t and I figured the best thing for me to do right now is get it off my chest.. Maybe even ask for James’ help.. I got up from my bed and threw on pants and a warm coat with a scarf, picking up the pieces of paper from my bed and putting them within a pocket of mine, then making my way out of my room and downstairs so I could meet James at the park. I knew I would be early, but it was better than being in my room and being constantly reminded of Jody.
I got to the park and had fifteen minutes to spare, waiting for James. I was surprised by the weather.. Although it was snowing, there was a pleasant, silent calmness to it and there was barely ever a breeze that would give you the chills. Being at this park brought back some good memories with James.. Of course, he made it seem like we used to come here all the time and get drunk, but honestly, it was only maybe three times our first year here and out of those times, we came here because we needed to get away from something.
The first time we came here, it was to have fun and to get to know one another more, ultimately leading to our strong friendship, and it was also the first time James had told me about his parents. His father drinks a lot and he’s emotionally abusive, his mother can’t and won’t stick up for herself, and James went to school here to become a doctor so he could eventually get his mother out of their home and away from his dad. I thought it was noble of him, I’d probably do the same in his position, too. The second time we came here was when Kat got into an argument with James and I about something completely stupid, looking back on it now, and James and I came here to drink and vent. The third time, well.. I had a miniature break down about my own Dad, and although I didn’t talk about it at all with James that time, it was nice of him to keep me company and keep me distracted with a flask-full of Gin. I wasn’t sure why we stopped coming here for two years, maybe it was because nothing bad was going on in our lives, so why was I here now? I guess James just knew me that well to know that something was off, even if I haven’t admitted it yet.
My eyes went to the wooden bridge when I saw James walking across it and I could see his friendly smile from where I sat. “Hey, bud.. Been here long?” He asked when he reached me, taking the seat next to me and I shook my head.
“Not really, maybe ten minutes..”
“Ah, not bad. Thanks for meeting me.. It’s been a while since we’ve been here, huh?”
“Yeah, sure has..” I replied, then looking at his clothes, “Aren’t you cold?”
“Nah.. It’s actually kinda nice out.. Besides, even if I do get cold, I got just the thing to warm me up,” he answered with a devious grin.
“..What is it?” I wondered, watching him then reach into his jacket for something.
“Here,” he replied, then pulled out a water bottle and showed it to me.
I grew suspicious of the bottle, “What’s that?”
“Come on, don’t act like I came here with nothing to drink.. It’s tradition,” he answered with a grin and I smirked.
“It’s noon, James..” I contested and he scoffed.
“So?” He questioned sarcastically, “Just take a sip, that’s all.. It might even help with that headache of yours,” he egged on and I rolled my eyes, but took the bottle from his hand and uncapped it.
I took a deep breath and took a swig of the liquid, feeling it already burning my mouth before I swallowed and I coughed after I had choked it down. “Jesus!” I coughed again, “What is this, the shittiest vodka you could find?” I asked, pushing the bottle back towards him and he laughed as he took it from me.
“The cheap stuff is the best stuff.. Gets you blasted before you even know it,” he said with a triumphant tone and he then took a swig of it himself, hissing harshly afterwards, but he handled it better than me, anyways. He screwed the cap back on the bottle and set it down, “Phew! Sure brings you back, doesn’t it?” He asked with a smile, nudging his elbow into me and I chuckled softly in return, nodding in agreement.
“So..” He began, “What’s up with you lately?” He wondered, my view going to the snow in front of our feet and I tried to play it off with a smirk.
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t fuck with me, you haven’t been the same since you and Kat got into that argument.. Or maybe you just haven’t been the same since Jody had come over after that..” He hinted and my smirk faded quickly. “You know you can talk to me about anything, literally.. I know you’re a quiet person, but I felt like you haven’t really spoken to anyone since then.. Plus with your Uncle coming over and all.. I don’t know what happened between you two, but one minute he was going upstairs, and the next, you were racing downstairs and out the door quicker than I’ve ever seen you move,” he continued.
Although I felt as if he was backing me into a corner, which is something I knew he was aware of that I hated, what else was I supposed to do? He was right, I talked to him about a lot of things, excluding my parents directly, but what was I so afraid of..? Why was I so afraid to get help from him? Maybe it was because I was scared he couldn’t help me..
“I, uhm..” I started, but I didn’t even know where to go from here.. There was a lot bothering me.. Kat, my Uncle, Jody, even Camilla a little. It seemed that everything I had a problem with lied mostly within my lineage. “..Honestly, I don’t even know where to start..” I admitted, looking to James and his expression held slight concern.
“Well.. How about starting with your Uncle?” He suggested, “What happened between you two that caused you to storm off like that?”
It took me a few minutes to even commit to talking about this, but eventually, to my own surprise, when I had finally started telling James what had happened, it all began to flow out more and more fluently. I appreciated how James sat there and listened to me babble on and on about it, but I suppose it couldn’t really be labeled ‘babbling’ as much as it could be labeled a confession.
“Your Uncle is just like my dad, but on top of that, he’s physical about it.. He grabbed your fucking hair, dude, and made you kneel in front of him, like he’s a fucking king or something.. God, that pisses me off.. I’m sorry, Ollie.. Honestly, had I known that was happening on the floor right fucking above me, I would’ve re-wrecked that damn knee of his,” James answered with more anger than I expected from him. I liked how he would’ve been willing to stick up for me had he known what was going on and might’ve been able to stop it, but what’s done is done, I guess..
“Whatever, it’s over and done with.. Now you know why I hate even being around him..” I replied and James nodded in understanding. “What happened while I was gone? Camilla mentioned something when I got home about her and Kat getting into it at dinner last night, as well as you when you left me that message..” I brought up, but he brushed it off.
“Oh, well, if Camilla told you about it, then that’s all it was, but..” He stopped, hesitating a moment before continuing, “I don’t know.. It was weird.. The whole time they were fighting, I was trying to stop them, and all your Uncle was doing was sitting there, like.. ‘Sitting back and watching the show’ or something.. You know? Like he didn’t even care about getting involved and stopping them..” He continued, but I knew what he was talking about..
“Yeah, that sounds like something he’d do..” I replied. I knew that my Uncle loved to make people, or more so, women, compete for his attention and affection, and I’m sure even despite the multiple women I knew he took home like he used to do when I was younger and Camilla and I lived with him, he loved seeing his daughters doing the exact same thing.. Fighting over him.. I knew he loved attention and I now knew that he was more than likely the reason for Kat and Camilla’s confrontation, and the fact that I wasn’t there made me angrier at myself.. I wish I was there to stop them..
After talking about my Uncle, James seemed eager to move on to the next subject, one that I wanted to talk even less about, “Jody was weird, too, when she came over.. I don’t know how to describe it, really.. I mean, she came because Kat invited her, and I’m sure she came so she could see you, but when you left, I couldn’t help but think about what you said.. I watched her for a while and she was, like.. Obsessed with her phone.. I knew she had called you because I heard her leave you a message about her being there and having to leave soon, but when she hung up, she stared at her phone for the entire rest of the time.. When I mentioned to you last night that she was coming over, you said that it gave you even more reason to leave.. I just want to know why you said that,” he brought back up, watching as he reached for the water bottle and took a quick swig of vodka. He offered it to me next, looking to it for a moment and I felt it might be better to take one more drink of it if I was going to work up the courage to tell James what had happened between her and I..
“When you sent her up to my room, she tried comforting me about what had happened between Kat and I.. I told her I had just had a fight with her, but I didn’t tell her any details.. She, uhm..” I stopped, cringing a little when I remembered back to how her touch felt on my shoulders when she had started the ‘innocent’ massage.. “She was trying to relieve my stress, she started massaging my shoulders and stuff and I had never had a real massage before, so she insisted she give me one to maybe calm me down more, relax me a little, but.. It was all just a ruse..” I stopped, facing the snow on the ground once again.
“..What do you mean?” He asked with concern, but I felt as if I couldn’t continue, it was still hard to talk about.
I stood and I rubbed the stubble on my chin as I took a few steps away from the bench. “I just.. I can’t believe I’m even going to say this..” I continued.
“Dude, what the hell happened?” James encouraged.
“She, uhm.. I, uh.. I turned over and she kissed me, and after that.. She gave me a look as if she wanted to do more than that, and I didn’t want to. I told her we shouldn’t, but she.. She fucking grabbed me, like.. Me..” I implied so he’d know what I was referring to, “I mean, I still continued to try and stop her, but man.. How many times do I have to fucking say it before she actually does?” I continued, getting a little angered as I continued to try and explain to him. I turned around and faced James, looking to him still sitting and I shook my head, my gaze then finding the snow below me, “She just.. She didn’t stop. She took everything off of me, and herself.. She crawled on top of me and I told her stop again, and she fucking hit me..”
James stopped me and I looked to him as he stood from the bench, “Wait, wait.. She hit you.. Like, sexy ‘hit you’ or..”
“No! I told her to stop and she fucking slapped me across the face! She dazed me, even.. While I was recovering from that, she just.. Well, you know..” I finished, giving the last implication that I could without being forced to explain any more.
“You can’t be serious..” James said with slight doubt in his tone and I grew angered.
“I thought that if anyone would believe me, it would be you,” I replied.
“I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant.. I-I didn’t mean for it to come off that way.. But.. Oliver, are you telling me that she forced you to have sex with her? Jody? We’re talking about the same, little, sweet Jody, right?” He continued and I sighed heavily.
“It doesn’t matter, you don’t even fucking believe me..” I brushed off, turning my attention away from him again.
“Ollie, stop. Stop acting like I don’t believe you, because I do.. Again, I’m sorry if I’m coming off as if I don’t, but.. It’s really hard to see her doing something like that.. That’s not saying that I don’t believe you, but, it’s just.. A little hard to grasp, you know? ..Why couldn’t you get her off of you? You’re obviously stronger than her..” He wondered and I remained angry.
“Well, with three years of nothing, I wasn’t exactly capable of thinking with, well, anything! I’m just..” I sighed harshly, “I tried to stop her, okay? I told her to stop, multiple times, and I was pushing her thighs and her hips away from me but she kept pushing my hands away and then going harder and I just.. I couldn’t hold back anymore! Alright?” I asked angrily and his eyes held remorse.
“Okay! Okay..” He said defensively, “Look, Ollie..”
“And then-” I cut him off, “I stayed at a motel last night and this morning I wake up to voice mails from Kat, you, and three from her! The first two looking for me, and the third one from this morning an hour before I had woken up.. Saying she was fucking looking for me, looking for me! She found me, too.. She tried to have sex with me again, but I managed to leave the room and get away from her,” I continued and I watched as his eyes widened a little to my words, “I told her this morning we weren’t together, I told her I didn’t want anything to do with her but she thinks we’re still fucking dating! I had a number in my pocket, too, and she found it and ripped it up! It wasn’t even from a fucking girl!” I continued on my enraged rant.
“She did that? What the hell..? Who was it even from?” He asked.
“Just.. The bartender at the place I went to.. He’s new in town and wanted to be shown around, but..” I reached into my pocket, pulling out the pieces of paper into my palm and I showed it to him, “Like I said.. She ripped it up..” I showed him, then placed the pieces back within my pocket.
“..Did you two wear anything, at least..?” James asked next.
“Does it sound like I had a fucking choice in that matter?!” I yelled angrily and James’ expression was every type of confusion and worry.
“Oliver, listen.. I’m sorry for what happened to you, she’s a crazy bitch and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.. I can’t even begin to try to put myself in your position, but.. There’s bigger shit to worry about now.. You need to find out if that psycho is pregnant or not,” he brought up and my eyes widened in shock.
How could I have overlooked such a thing? Was I really this stupid? Now that I thought back on it, she was obsessed from the beginning.. Our first date, she asked me to go home with her, but I think the fact that James and Kat had gone out with us, it kept me from being completely alone with her, not to mention that we were outside when we kissed and she couldn’t force me into anything on the sidewalk in the cold.. But, the first chance that she got, she just took what she wanted and disregarded everything I had told her I was against.. It’s as if she loved being forceful or dominant.. Granted, I had learned that already the hard way, but now that I looked back on everything, she was just waiting to get me alone.. She knew I hadn’t been in the game for years and she knew I wouldn’t be able to truly say no, at least not with my emotions accompanying the actions of my body, but either way, she still took complete advantage of me.. She haunted me, plagued me with her presence and she forced me to become involved with the monster that she was. At this point, from what I’ve witnessed myself, why wouldn’t she want to be connected to me in some way, shape or form, including that one of an offspring?
“Oh my God..” I finally acknowledged, bringing my hands to my face and I rubbed the skin of my forehead down to my cheeks, “What the fuck have I done?”
“Dude, don’t worry about it, you didn’t do a damn thing..” James tried to console me, walking up closer and he put his hand on my shoulder, “I’m sure she’s on the pill or something.. I mean.. We can hope, right?” He said with a slightly humorous tone, yet he also held more remorse at the same time. I knew he was just trying to make me feel better, but his attempt at a joke only made me feel worse. “I’m sorry, man.. I had no idea you were dealing with this shit by yourself for so long.. You all right with talking about this stuff, still?” He wondered, his hand still on my shoulder, “We can talk about some other shit and finish this bottle, instead?” He suggested with a smile.
I looked up to him and he chuckled, “Stop worrying so much.. Everything will be fine, you’ll see.. I got your back with whatever happens. I won’t let that bitch anywhere near you now,” he added with more humor and I couldn’t help but smirk, being comforted by his words and I knew that I could count on James for anything. I was so afraid to tell him what had happened, but he understood.. Although he claimed to not be doubtful, I knew he was at first, like I assumed he would be, but eventually I felt that he believed me completely the more I went on and now he knew where I stood on mostly everything that was bothering me. I was so glad to have such a good friend like James, and I was glad that I had someone to help me with keeping Jody away.. But..
..Now that James had mentioned that she might be pregnant, I felt as if nothing would make me happier than to know she isn’t. I didn’t want to see her anymore, I didn’t want to have anything left to do with her.. But, if she was, then there’s even more reason for her to pry into my life.. The exact opposite of what I wanted.. If this was a possibility, then I knew this wasn’t the last time I was going to see her, and I knew that this would mark the end of me. I couldn’t deal with splitting anything with her, a Goddamn child, no less, and I wished with all my heart that Jody wasn’t chaining me to the anchor that I knew would sink until it hit the very bottom.
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